In August 2012 I released my first Indie project Vindicated: The makings of a Worshipper. It was my first project & after I had released it, I knew there was still so much more molding going on in my life, so much more developing going on & so much more growing happening in my walk & in the midst of the storm I was facing when I started writing for Vindicated and still happen to be in.
I do believe that everyone who is called & chosen by God to go out & labor in the harvest of ministry is designed & equipped with specific tools for their mission fields. I always knew I couldn’t hit the highest notes or riff ridiculously, but what I could do was share the gospel of Christ & worship with my whole heart to The Lord. What I would do is be transparent (not to much where some couldn’t handle, but enough to let them know I have been where you are or were) & share my redeemed life because of what my Redeemer did for me.
I try my best to not focus on the bodily ailment that at one time I was very open to speaking about, but realized I no longer want the focus to be on the affliction I am faced with. I want eyes and ears to be fixed on the one who removes afflictions & sees fit to allow afflictions to those who can bear it for His name sake, because it will bring glory to His name. We see examples like this in scripture when Paul is talking to Timothy telling him to mix wine with his water for his stomach pain & frequent ailments in 1 Timothy. We also read what Paul wrote to the church of Galatia: “You know it was because of a bodily ailment that I preached the gospel to you at first,
and though my condition was a trial to you, you did not scorn or despise me, but received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus. Galatians 5:13-14”
There is definitely no doubt that being in the night or storm for such a long time can be a really painful experience. I realized just yesterday that as The Lord is developing me into a Worshipper, I refuse to let myself grieve. The moment I start to feel the grief or pain of what is going around me, I immediately stop the grieving process from even taking place. But at yesterday’s Sunday night crossover service pastor Tommy hit on the very thing that has been keeping me from letting it out. So I am not going to let that continue to happen. I am learning how to grieve and how to let others grieve with me. It’s definitely a learning experience and a process but its all part of this walk with Jesus. I writing it all down!!!
As I begin to work on my next project, I am seeing all of the ways that God is speaking to me through His Spirit & I am so encouraged. I am looking forward to sharing the experience with others who are going through similar struggles and need that hope & encouragement as well. The life of the servant is one where we have laid down our life in full surrender and are yielded to obedience. It is such a beautiful thing!
Back in 2012 I realized God had started to develop a Worshipper out of me. He continues to develop & mold me. As I picture myself in the potters house, I can picture him molding this clay, taking His time & little by little an image is forming. When others see me on whatever platform He opens doors for, it is His Image they will see.